Thursday, August 1, 2013

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As I was growing up, I had some harsh personal situations happen to me. Some of these situations ended up harming my personal confidence. So now, even though I’m 23 years old, I continue to face that struggle of gaining personal confidence on my skills, education, beliefs, etc. It seems like it is a never-ending cycle. Due to these problems faced early on in my life, I personally cannot keep a long-term relationship. Even though I have sought professional help, to build on self-confidence from scratch, it is a long process and a process that I sometimes give up on. Therefore, in my point of view, to reflect on a situation in which I had extreme amounts of confidence is to actually have an average amount of confidence compared to others.

During my undergraduate degree, I was struggling a bit to become more open because I’m a very shy, introvert person most of the time. When I one day attended a class in the graduate program of Business Administration, I knew that that type of environment was not for me. So, I needed to find a program that was a bit more flexible and did not involve meeting with people face to face as much because I knew I would struggle to make contact. Therefore, one of my greatest moments, in which it was a situation were I raised up with a bit more self-confidence, was when I got accepted into the MSLD program through the ERAU Worldwide campus. At first I was scared, did not think that I would be accepted, that I would probably fail, and so on. But, something inside of me continued on to tell me to just give it a try! So, the moment when I found out that I was accepted, I jumped for joy. I happily cried and screamed from the top of my lungs how grateful I was to God to be accepted into the program. Now that I am a year into the program, I continue to be happy and proud of the decision I made to try and apply to a graduate program.

A current situation where I continue to have a low amount of self-confidence is actually going out to the “real world”. The reason why I call it the “real world” in quotations is because it is a place outside of my current comfort zone. It is a place where everything is different and a place where self-confidence is needed in order to triumph along with others. I use the term going out as in getting another job by starting my career in the business world. Even though right now I have a job, I do not consider or feel that I should stay in the same job or in the same position for any more than one more year. As much as I want to overcome past situations, build more confidence, and overall just be a better me; I cannot continue to stay on the same comfort zone struggling to live check by check. Therefore, it is time to put myself first by building more on my self-confidence so one day I can look back and be proud of the past decisions I have made. But for now I must overcome my fear, helplessness, confused and depress feelings and gain confidence on my decisions, choices, and ultimately on myself. 

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